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I feel like such a blog whore for even writing about Valentine’s day.  The mere mention of it makes me shiver with disgust.  However, let me say this upfront.  I truly have nothing against the spirit of the holiday.  If you are in a loving relationship with someone and the day rolls around, then I think it’s a wonderful opportunity to express your feelings.  You aren’t who this blog is about. This is about those Strugglers. I mean you just have to laugh at the dedication of em.  If they put half as much energy into progress as they do about turning everything into a struggle they could really get somewhere in Life.  However, Valentine’s day is just another opportunity to shed a little misery on the lives of those around them.  

You can always tell the ones who are gonna give you a hard time.   They start very early on.  Around January 28th, out of the blue, they’ll say something like “Ooh shyt, Valentine’s day is right around the corner”.  Valentine’s day sneaks up on most level-headed single adults, but these strugglers have their whole pity routine marked on the calendar.  February 1st is when they kick into next gear.  You start seeing them post things like “This gon be ma first Valemtimes day singuh”.

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You read it thinking in your head “Bish, you was single last year too.”  You gotta remember facts and reality are of no consequence to true struggles.   The only thing that matters is what supports the current struggle. 

By the time Feb 5th rolls around the strugglers are out her begging for Valentines like its government aid.

 

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They are double wiping tweenx their legs to change the scent.  Anything they can do to put it out there that life will end if they don’t get their poonch wet for V-day.  By Feb 10th it gets really sad.  Those who you thought had it all together start showing their ass on facebook.   Requesting massages(“Shole would be nice if someone was here to rub my back after a long day”), posting struggle meals for one to show they can be their own date,

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making up good attributes about themselves that they pretend to not be aware of (ex: My ex just texted me out the blue today.  Said I was the best thing that ever happened to him.  Too bad he didn’t realize it when he had me)   I’m not saying they are lying….I’m saying you’re not telling the truth.   In real life it’s all falling apart and we’re secretly placing bets for how long they can keep it together.

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I fear by the big day anyone who wants to see the world as a happy place will have to let go of all forms of social media all together.  It will be filled with three types of people: 1.  Those who are so sickeningly happy and use their individual accounts to rub it in our noses like dogshyt. 2.  Those who are miserable in denial and fake it for us.  You can hear the sadness in the posts though, and see it in the pics that day.  Filters don’t cover struggle.  3.  Those who have embraced their situation, chose to be bitter about it, and are gonna give the world hell all day out of spite (That’s sure to get you a valentine).

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I feel like this.  If I was single during the holidays then I’ll be single during Valentine’s day.  Some of you will scrape the barrel for any bum you can call “bae” on your special day and it makes you look so sad. If you’re single, just be single.  It can be a very temporary situation.  I would say let go of the struggle, but I know you won’t.  All I can really do is put you on notice that your Valentine struggle gives us all Life.  Your tears taste like peach moscato, and your never-ending search for “Bae” posts are the ones we laugh about  in our in-boxes!

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VitaminQ

Vitamin Q (VQ) is a writer, blogger personality, and a social commentator. He irreverently analyzes how social issues affect individuals in modern society by using sarcasm, humor, and intellect, creating his own unique blend of Southern SHADE, purely for the purpose of helping like minds cope. “I say it so you don’t have to!”
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