Tourists flock to New Orleans for Mardi Gras, but secondline season is where the real fun is for local New Orleanians, and we go all out here. The secondlines are like mini parades on Sundays and they are thrown by individual social aid and pleasure clubs. This Sunday’s secondline was given by the Divine Ladies who crowned local courtier Marvin Marvi Millon as their King and it was one for the record books for so many reasons.

1. Marvin is Black, Gay, and Brilliant

And they couldn’t take! Marvin has spent years designing local Mardi Gras, secondline dresses and ball gowns, so if there is anyone who knows what it takes to put on a good show it would be him. His vision was absolutely amazing. Yes it was extra, but you can’t ask an openly gay dressmaker to be King of one of the most famous secondlines in the city and not expect a damn circus and he did not disappoint.

That man is Pret…ty. You hear me? But check out his court.

Do you see these costumes? You and your friends could fawking NEVER! I’m just mad I couldn’t get my Alladin on. I am MAD and JEALOUS. Do you hear me?

2. The Camel Incident

The only downside, if there is one, to being a grand visionary and a perfectionist is that sometimes the risks you take to be spectacular come with a few hiccips. Sunday’s hiccup came in the form of the shadiest camel you’d ever want to me. Frank the Camel. Frank showed up ready for The Shyts and…well….this is what happened.

You ain’t shyt Frank!

Of course this spread all throughout the city and I thought it was hilarious. But I have a wicked sense of humor. But it literally looked like something out of an Eddie Murphy movie. I also felt like Marvin was thee luckiest guy in the city for not only pulling of the tightest second line theme I’ve ever seen, but also for the fall. You can’t buy publicity this good. I’m really glad he wasn’t hurt, but there’s a reason they say kids and animals are the hardest to work with in Hollywood. They are unpredictable and hard to manage. This could have been a bad situation, but as you can see gays are tough! He got right back up with no injuries and continued the show.

But then came the ugliness.

3. New Orleans is full of Bigots and Homophobes

New Orleans loves to pretend it’s this progressive southern island in the middle of Klan country, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. It might be a free and easy city for rich white gays, but for black gays it’s a completely different story.

Fuck Horace Anderson!

The hate is always real no matter how much people would like to say that it’s imagined. Black gays really do give so much to the black community. In fact, they give all they can and most times it’s met with either ambivalence or hate. Especially here in New Orleans. Don’t let the support for Big Freedia fool you. Many local rappers her continuously blame “sissy bounce” for “Killing the Qulture”, and now you have homophobic Mardi Gras Indians blaming gays for killing second-line Qulture.

Nevermind that none of these people are real Kings, Queens, or Indians, and that everyone is playing dress up. Nevermind that grown men dress up in Ostrich feathers and march around the city like peacocks saying how “pretty” they are. Just forget all that and jump right on the hate bandwagon saying that gays have no place in a culture of pageantry and exhibition. Yeah. That’s ONLY for straight people.

I can tell you personally that around here the local blacks in media {The 504, News station, and radio} blacklisted me for what they call “Negative content” but will then have on a bounce artist that tells women to “Pop that pussy for a porkchop” and Sheba Turk and the white anchors at WWL will dance around like they don’t hear the curse words and derogatory language. The only difference between me and any other local personality is my sexuality, so I know for a FACT that Marvin had the kids mad because the mediocre, unimaginative straight kids hate seeing an openly gay man or woman shine. But they have ABSOLUTELY no problem stealing our ideas and taking credit for them. 

{But they love these closet homosexuals in fake marriages with a passion}

At this point all we can do is live our lives and try and be great because this is never going to stop. So I just give them more to be mad about.

My stance is this. Marvin, his Court, and The Divine Ladies looked absolutely amazing. Breathtaking in fact. The camel fall was funny to me because with Uranus in Taurus you have to expect the unexpected and laugh at it because there will usually be a great reward that comes from it. Marvin getting right back up and finishing the show was inspiring. Homophobes in the black community are like a toxic cancer. And all of this is THE QULTURE!. The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly.

So Hail King Marvin. This week’s King of Qulture! Thanks for being my hero this week because this is going to be Hard To Top!

And we all know how hard tops are to come by these days. {Just a gay humor for the bigots}

King Marvin The Magnificent!

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